Don't you hate being torn between your child and your job? I mean, in a lot of cases choosing your job actually means choosing your child since your job is keeping a roof over the kids' head and food in his belly. But as a mom there's always this pressure, whether from yourself , those around you, or both, to be at home spending quality time with your kids.
Dads don't have that pressure. They have plenty of others but not that one. Fine, ya know? That's just how it is. Hubby definitely makes more money than me, so there's no need. Sure there are dads who stay at home but no one expects them to.
It comes to this place where you feel like a bad mom. Even more so when you have a special needs child like I do. I start to do the math of how many hours he spends with me vs. a sitter which doesn't include sleeping. I start getting paranoid that he's not going to think of me as his mom because I'm not there enough. When I'm home I'm cooking or cleaning or some such other horrible thing and knowing that if I'm not doing that it'll never get done but that each moment of my child's life is slipping away without me being totally present.
Well at the very least I'm not going to complete this post because child is crying at the moment and I'm going to rescue him....
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